GOING FIVE-OH ON YOUR ASS!

So it has come to this.... I am forced to go "cop" on the gym. I just left the gym. Zvi said I should do this post before I get buzzed or it could get real ugly......

COP BEATDOWN #1 (A SLIGHT THRASHING WITH MY HANDS):
Starting on Monday, 8/24/2009, being tardy for your training session will no longer be accepted. The sessions are filled with too many people who manage not to be late to let those of you who think it is okay to be late just wander on in whenever you want. It is disrespectful to your fellow athletes, and it it disrespectful to your coach. I WILL NO LONGER LET ANY ATHLETE INTO ONE OF MY SESSIONS WHO IS NOT READY TO GO AT THE START OF THE SESSION TIME. This means you 6:30am folks too! Don't bother showing up. If you are gonna be late, then just sleep in... You all know I am a fun-loving guy, but tardiness absolutely drives me bonkers. We opened One World the day after Thanksgiving in 2005. To this day, I have never been late for a session that I have coached. I will be a total dick about this one, so don't bother calling me to ask me if it is okay if you are late, or walk up to me and ask if it is okay for you to jump into a session that has already started. I hope the other coaches enforce this rule with their sessions too. BTW- Being on time means scanning your card, getting into your workout attire, sayin your hellos, and being ready to go when the coach yells out session start time. Some of the sessions have outgrown the ability to do the workout as it is posted daily on this site. Adjustments have to be made on the fly by the coach. If people are wandering in for up to 10-15 minutes after the session starts, it really fucks the coach up. I hope you all understand where I am coming from on this one. It will take a bit of adjusting to get used to this policy, but in the long run, it will make One World a better gym.

COP BEATDOWN #2 (MULTIPLE TASER SHOTS)
I understand the WOD DRUNK. Me and Joe D. were talking about it one day. You finish your workout and you are jacked! Your eyes are spinning in your sockets. You are stumbling. Sometimes people are puking or getting into their cars and puking down the street. I am surprised someone hasn't forgotten one of their kids at the gym after a gnarly workout session. The WOD DRUNK is real, but it is no excuse for what I saw this morning. I went to the gym this morning at 5:15 am to train. I was appalled at what I found. There was equipment everywhere! Plyo boxes were scattered all over place. There were bumper plates lying on top of dumbbells. There were rowers out on the floor. There was a pile of chalk on the floor not ten feet from the vacuum cleaner. I gathered four clipboards with scratch paper on them that had people's scores or rounds from workouts. I found stopwatches in places whxs    ere they were likely to be lost or stepped on. I picked up 19 water bottles. Yes...I said NINE-FUCKING-TEEN! I also picked up three pair of shoes, two pair of flip-flops, a pair of shorts, several t-shirts, a belt, and four socks within five feet of each other. Notice I said four socks and not four pair of socks. That was four individual socks. WTF?!?! In the last few years, I have collected enough athletic clothing to outfit the U.S. Olympic Team.

So here is the story. The last coach of the day will make sure that everything is where it should be. I am now at the gym four days a week before anyone else gets there. I will gather all articles of clothing and place them next to the dumpster outside. THERE IS NO LOST OR FOUND! If you liked that sweatshirt, your gi, or that pair of flip-flops, then you better remember to take them home or get to the gym before the homeless guys get to our dumpster. Any gear I find lying about will be dealt with between me and the coaches. Also, any items of value (watches, jewelry, wallets, purses, kids) will be left at the front desk.

Gym tidiness is essential not only to having a good looking box, but for health purposes too. If you rip, scrape, or bleed during a workout, hit up your coach for something to clean up your DNA. I would recommend that all of you buy some long socks and keep them in your car for those days we do lots of deadlifts, Olympic lifts, or rope climbs. I promise I will not make fun of your socks if they don't match the rest of your attire.. (Okay, fashion police is definitely not "tough cop" at all...)

On a side note, One World is looking to hire a janitorial service that will clean the bathrooms four days a week. If you know of any such services hit me up at my email address located at the top right corner of the website.

COP BEATDOWN #3 (LETHAL FORCE!!!)
BEER!!!!! I have always said that my beer is your beer. Not a lot of CrossFit gyms have a beer fridge on the training floor. No matter what the time of day, I love to drink a cold one immediately following (or sometimes during...haha) a workout. (For the record, I don't drink beer before I work the cop job.) In the last few weekends, I have taken two out of town trips. The beer fridge was full of beer that I bought when I left. Beer is magical! It makes everything feel right after a workout. So.....Imagine my dismay when I return to One World, do a workout, and then mosey on over to the fridge to grab a cold one from AN EMPTY FUCKING FRIDGE!!!! Yesterday, I bought a 12 pack and drank one beer. Today, there where two beers left. Someone is not ponying up their share. I am not asking all of you to go buy a 12 pack tomorrow and bring it into the gym. I am asking that you remember how many you suck down over a week or two and occasionally contribute to the the cause! Beer rocks!

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WOD   8/20/2009

Complete 30 reps for time of:

• Squat clean and jerk (M:155#/W:100#)

Coach's Corner: This is a full squat clean. If you do not catch in a full squat, you must get down into one before you put the weight overhead. You may do a thruster or any overhead movement for the jerk to count. Good times!!!

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Comments

[Brian G.]

Freddy. I agree with you on all counts, and for more two (2) years crossfitting here at OneWorld I can say that I have grown to love your style bro! And since your playing the bad cop right now, It just makes me understand why people love us Firemen more! Haha. I'm only kidding With ya - but seriously I do love being a Fireman.

[alex]

You all piss Freddy, see what happens we have to do a Heavy Squat Grace. WTF people. By the way I left the gym late last night I should of helped clean so I am part responsible, but the beer, thats just wrong!

[Anna]

Thank goodness you recycle Freddy. That's a lot of water bottles. I'm sure people would care more if they paid for reusuable ones. ;0) Haha!!

[Lancaster]

19 waterbottles? I don't understand why everyone doesn't buy the COOL metal One World Refillable containers. Growing Pains! A consequence of a successful Box.

[trace]

You Da Man Freddy. Your postings are why I check your site each day.

[Moises Gomez (Diablo Crossfit)]

I am happy to know we are not the only box going through growing pains. I hope one day Freddy you can come over to DCF and give us that same speech. Tardiness is very annoying and you said it best DISRESPECTFUL!

I hope to one day come through and get in a WOD with you folks and with my boy J.D. and BTW I will bring beer!

Take care you guys!

[j-ro]

Oooh. Er. Um. I guess this is a bad time to mention that I'm missing a yoga strap. That belt Freddy found might have been mine. You said you left it by the dumpster? Okay....

I'll be way better at picking up after myself;)

...and I'll do my best to avoid being late for the obscene 7:15.

...and if I were a beer drinker, I'd totally replenish the supply.

Just now that after this rush of Catholic guilt leaves my body, I'll still love my One World family ;)

[Mary]

I am in completely agreement with Freddy. There's nothing less appealing than a dirty box. Like I say to my kids: We all live in the same house. If you pickup after yourselves you wouldn't have to listen to me rant, nag and scream about your mess.

Oh, and I'm not the beer hog...

[Jeremy Jones - Diablo CrossFit]

You forgot to mention how many used condoms you found. Those are the worst.

Some of our solutions: Burpees if your late (5 per minute up to 5 min). Push ups for every lb of weight you leave out (this can be for a whole class as well). Mis-stacked plates get carried 400m.

And most importantly - Kegerator. Oh yes. We will have one by the end of the month. We'll probably have some special rules for administering it's delicious golden nectar, but it just seems like the best solution to getting people their 'post workout carbs'.

Keep fighting the good fight,

-jj

[Annie]

I told you, you could handle kids.

[Steve Henderson]

Freddy,
As a fellow police officer here in South Carolina, I copied and pasted on our Facebook group, your well articulated post on the issues with One World. Why? Because we have some of the same issues! Feelin' your pain! Good job and great helping verbs in the post!

[Greg]

CBD#2:
You host a gym that promotes getting drunk, and now your upset when the patrons act like drunks? That is funny.

[freddy c.]

Greg, u r stoopid. :-)

[freddy_c.]

BTW- I posted that last comment when I was drunk.

I missed the part where I promoted getting drunk. Funny, I'm the one doing the posting and I can't for the life of me figure out where I promoted that.

[Greg]

The part you missed brother:
"I understand the WOD DRUNK. Me and Joe D. were talking about it one day. You finish your workout and you are jacked! Your eyes are spinning in your sockets. You are stumbling. Sometimes people are puking or getting into their cars and puking down the street."

Freddy_c, I am smart enough not to mix alcohol with exercise, or get drunk. :)

[freddy c.]

Greg,

So sorry I misinterpreted your post. One day I will by you many beers to make up for my stupidity....

[freddy c.]

"buy"

[Greg]

10-4, room temperature Irish stout, Guinness. :)