Totally not fitness related......
HOLY SHIT!!!!
I have a lot of great stories I can tell you about my many trips to Maui, but what happened today wins the GREATEST STORY OF ALL TIME!
So Chyna and I were planted in the sand at Launiupoko Beach when a family plops down on the sand next to us. Teenage sister (about 14 years old wearing a bikini with a big dangling belly piercing on her chubby little stomach) starts posing like she’s trying to get in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Her little brother is acting as her photographer with her cellphone. At some point, little brother says, “Stop trying to suck it in. You don’t look like that.” Then he patted her on the belly. Teenage sister gets pissed!!! Holy shit, that right there made the story funny to me already.
It got better.....
Little brother grabs his boogie board and goes out into the water with older brother. In a few minutes, older brother is carrying younger brother out of the water with little brother holding his foot up in the air. Little brother is crying. They plop him in a beach chair and I can see he has a few sea urchin spikes stuck in his foot. All I can think is, “Damn. Kharma is a bitch!!!”
Just when I think story is already hilarious, it gets better!!!
Teenage sister says, “Someone needs to pee on it!” I’m thinking, “What the fuck?!?!?” Isn’t that some old wive’s tale for jellyfish stings?” Teenage sister than says, “Hold on. I’ll check Google.” In the meantime, mom, grandma and grandpa all start pulling the spines out of this poor shit talking kid’s foot. Poor little guy. I can tell that was not pleasant.
After an intense search on her iPhone, teenage sister suddenly says, “I told you. Someone needs to pee on it!” Now, mind you, while this is going on, I check my own Google search and on the first page of hits there is only one hit where some guy talks about getting his sea urchin attack pissed on. I’m thinking, “Damn, this little chick is playing dirty!”
Teenage sister is pointing to a few trees and trying to talk everyone into dragging the poor little guy behind a tree to piss on his foot. Chyna and I are fucking mesmerized and trying to figure out how we could be so lucky to have witnessed this epic event.
The scene settles for a few while all the grown ups are on their phones. Maybe they were calling 411 for sea urchin sting information. I don’t know. Just when I think it can’t get any better, older brother comes trotting up with an Aquafina bottle, only, it’s not full of water. It’s full of a yellow colored fluid with a foam top. NO FUCKING WAY!!!! Yep, it’s full of piss. Chyna and I sit there with our jaws dropped as mom pours the entire contents of the water bottle on this poor kid’s foot, who of course is crying out loud and begging mom to stop.
As we are trying to absorb what the fuck just happened, older brother starts laughing. “You got my piss all over your foot!” Grandpa comes trotting up and says, “Ummmm. I don’t think that’s doing anything.” Didn’t see it, but I am pretty sure teenage sister had a smirk on her face during this entire ordeal.
The whole family packs up and grandpa gives the kid a piggyback ride to the car. I’m sure they were off to the emergency room. Retards. First hit on Google says soak it in vinegar and warm water. Not necessary to see a doctor. Oh well.
Teenage sister, little brother, grandpa, and the empty Aquafina bottle. Priceless!!!
Probably not as funny if you weren’t there, but I thought it was hilarious.
I have four more days to top that story......
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WORKOUT 12/20/2013
- 8 sets of [hang power snatch + power snatch]
You may catch in the full snatch if you are capable. (A snatch is nothing more than a missed power snatch!!!) If you are not comfortable pulling from the floor, just do 8 sets of hang power snatch. You are trying to get a max effort set by the last attempt.
Then....
One round is 2:30 long. You will run 400m and then complete as many air squats as possible. Rest 2 minutes and repeat for a total of 4 rounds. Your goal is 200 total squats. If you do not complete 200 squats, do whatever number of squats needed to complete 200 before you leave the gym.
Enjoy!
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